"Now Monkey, what you have to do is walk over to that marker there and really give Will Smith a good right hook to the chin, then, as he goes to stand up jump on his shoulder. And Will, you have to recoil away from Monkey, pull your head away from him and give him a bit of a stare." |
 Will Smith is not the sort of guy that scares easily, but my acting skills were so convincing that he had to go in for therapy afterwards. After this scene we struck up and
agreement to work together on a four movie deal, in a series called 'Action Ape' |
 Robin Williams career started off with a sitcom called 'Mork and Mindy'. When we met he wondered if I fancied collaborating with him on a revival of the show - Mork and Monkey. Coming soon to DVD. |
 Morgan Freeman and I go way back. In fact I taught him everything he knows. We hadn't planned on getting so close for this photo but my fur stuck to his beard like velcro.
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 Hugh Grant and I are the two most famous English personalities on the Hollywood circuit, though I get asked to appear on more chatshows and invited to more Hollywood parties. |
 Whoopi and I met on the set of ghost, where I was the pottery instructor for that famous scene. I you look very closely you can see my hand guiding Demi Moore's from underneath the table, as soon as I made way for Patrick Swayze to help her the pot fell to pieces. Useless. |
 Celeb parties can get a bit hectic and it's nice to just take the weight off of your feet for a moment. I spotted this nice shiny seat and decided to park my bum down, but then I shot upwards as I noticed I had been sitting on Patrick Stewarts head as he bent down to tie his lace by the bar. He didn't take offence. |
 Now, you may find it odd that I am posing here with Charlie Chaplin, especially as he has been dead for quite a while. And you are right, it is kinda weird. |
 Here I am with my old friend 'Madge'. when she is looking to
implement a new image change se comes to me for advice on the latest trends among the youth. Next time I think I will
advise her to just grow old gracefully. |
 Here I am with the Beatles. well, some of the Beatles. George
seems to have been taken over by some strange woman, this model doesn't look very much like him at all!
Still, we get through three renditions of Love Me Do and make quite a tidy sum. |
 This is Elvis, the fake tan years. I have no idea why Elvis is so orange in this picture, obviously fell asleep in the sun. |
 Graham Norton asked me to appear on his chat show, but I explained that I'd be collecting my
Oscar that weekend and so couldn't possibly make it. |
 David Jason and I, looking rather dapper. He's actually rather small in real life, only a little bit
taller than me. we're currently considering a new spin-off series - Only Fools and Monkeys. |
 Here you can se that Billy Connelly is wearing a jacket made out of a very colourful hot air balloon. when he left he was chased down he street by 20 very jealous clowns |
 Floats like a
butterfly, eats like a monkey. I've got to keep in shape and here I am with my sparring partner. Ali has a slight advantage in the glove-size department, but just ask Will Smith, I've got a great swing. |
 Noooo! I know I still have a little bit of 'Christmas weight' but I'm not quite rugby ball shaped yet! Johnny Wilkinson threatens to
launch me straight into the stratosphere with one of his legendary boots. |
 Every famous person has got to have a gigantic portrait made of them to hang in the National Portrait Gallery, and I m no
different. You know I am the most famous monkey on the web? Vincent
said I was his best looking subject to date. |
 Here I am with the great Martin Luther King. He campaigned so
successfully for human rights that I ask if he'd consider campaigning for the freedom of monkeys act, so that I didn't have to travel inside Mimi's bag every time we got on a bus. |
 And finally I meet my biggest fan (and I mean biggest!) Henry VIII was well known for eating everything in sight, so I slowly move away from the buffet table... |
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