I’ve been relaxing this Bank Holiday weekend. I’ve sat in he garden in the inevitable Bank Holiday rain and pondered the vastness of the universe. I have sat with the Guardian crossword and pondered a nine letter word meaning translucent. Most of all though I have pondered just how much I love to play on the DS… I usually get in a few hours of DS-ing every day, fooling Mimi into thinking that the DS is just a Monkey-sized laptop - but I always make sure to steal away for a few hours on a weekend and put the stylus to some good work.

This weekend I have mainly ben playing Mario vs. Donkey Kong - March of the Minis. A great little puzzle game it definitely is - but after a while all those little Marios start to get to you…

Because every day at least 300 people choose to Ask Monkey about my dietary habits I shall share with you the benefit of many years of experience and wisdom at being able to crawl into the banana section at Asda and being able to eat my way back to the surface - a Monkey always knows a ripe banana.

The trick? Go for the yellow ones. A number 6 should be just perfect. Print out this chart and put it in your wallet for quick referral.

I’m a monkey who likes a refreshing beer on a warm afternoon - there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m also a money who enjoys the spicier side of life and that likes a nice chilli every now and again. Whilst browsing through the beer isle at the local supermarket yesterday afternoon, I came across something that finally sought to combine both of these passions inside a single bottle… Chili Beer. Not just a beer synthetically treated to taste a bit hot - this beer has a whole sarrano chilli in it. Looking like a dead man’s rotting finger floating in the otherwise beautiful amber beer, the look of it was not that appealling - but I thought that I should give it a chance. It might not taste that awful… Continue Reading »

Want something expensive and useless to spend your pocket money on? How about the amazing ‘Alive’ Chimpanzee - a full-sized bust of a chimp packed full of animatronics to provide you with a weird, loud and eerie disembodied chimp-head in your very own home!

The chimp is advertised as having an outstanding emotional range, which is what makes it so lifelike. It is impressive, but it’s ‘emotional range’ does appear to be limited to laughing like a rabid primate.